A little too raw: on freeing my inner self.

posted in: Positive Living | 4
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I've always kept a really big part of myself hidden deeeeeeeep beneath the surface. Parts I was simultaneously protecting and ashamed of. The more I learn more about being a human being, the more I realize that this habit of stuffing my feelings down inside hurts myself and others. Over the past year or so, I've started freeing my inner self: giving her a little more fresh air. I stopped saying to her, “Quiet, you're embarrassing me, shut up, nobody cares!” I started saying, “You're crazy, but I love you, and I want to know you better.” or even simply, “I'm scared, but okay. Let's go.” As it turns out, I haven't been giving her enough credit.
A little too raw: on freeing my inner self.
I started opening up a little bit more. I started ripping the emotional band-aids off a little bit sooner, just a liiiiiiiitle bit before I felt ready, when I still felt a liiiiiiiitle raw. I stopped trying to deny my messy humanity and started exploring it with curiosity instead of fear.
Life is still messy and hard. But now I'm free.
ONLY ONE THING made it possible for me to do this and it's my relationship with God. When I realized the complete and utter unconditional love that God has for me, and really grasped the weight of the fact that my humanity and brokenness is forgiven, I was able to be much more gentle with myself. God says we can be free. God says “Fear not.” Who am I to argue?
I know this post is a little different than what I usually post, but I wanted to tell you this, because it's helping me truly bloom right where I am, in each moment. And I want the same for you. x




4 Responses

  1. Wow!!! This makes so very happy and hopeful to hear. I can imagine how thrilled you must be to have this beautiful revelation!!! You are very courageous. God bless you! And keep up the wonderful work you do.

  2. This sounds so very familiar Kylie, and I have thought on your simple post for a while now. It has given me an “aha” moment, so thank you for that! Here is what I recently realized (or perhaps just finally accepted as a truth.)

    I think much of my day-to-day discomfort, which is expressed as stress, anxiety, impatience and annoyance (with myself and with others) is due to the feelings I keep pushing down and hiding from. Basically, I believe it comes down to not feeling worthy, or good enough. Finding unconditional love and expressing that for ourselves is so vitally important if we want to live authentically and to share our love and forgiveness with the world. It is a journey, and will take courage. Warm wishes to you!

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