I've always kept a really big part of myself hidden deeeeeeeep beneath the surface. Parts I was simultaneously protecting and ashamed of. The more I learn more about being a human being, the more I realize that this habit of stuffing my feelings down inside hurts myself and others. Over the past year or so, I've started freeing my inner self: giving her a little more fresh air. I stopped saying to her, “Quiet, you're embarrassing me, shut up, nobody cares!” I started saying, “You're crazy, but I love you, and I want to know you better.” or even simply, “I'm scared, but okay. Let's go.” As it turns out, I haven't been giving her enough credit.
I started opening up a little bit more. I started ripping the emotional band-aids off a little bit sooner, just a liiiiiiiitle bit before I felt ready, when I still felt a liiiiiiiitle raw. I stopped trying to deny my messy humanity and started exploring it with curiosity instead of fear.
Tweet: “I stopped trying to deny my messy humanity and started exploring it with curiosity instead of fear.” ~@kjworthington on @everblossoming
Life is still messy and hard. But now I'm free.
ONLY ONE THING made it possible for me to do this and it's my relationship with God. When I realized the complete and utter unconditional love that God has for me, and really grasped the weight of the fact that my humanity and brokenness is forgiven, I was able to be much more gentle with myself. God says we can be free. God says “Fear not.” Who am I to argue?
I know this post is a little different than what I usually post, but I wanted to tell you this, because it's helping me truly bloom right where I am, in each moment. And I want the same for you. x