“Don't you think you have more important things to worry about?”
“Isn't it actually better for the child…?”
“Are you sure you should be eating that/doing that/teaching that/wearing that?”
Being judged and questioned for our choices can be unpleasant. It's easy to feel put on the spot. It's especially jarring if it feels like the person confronting you doesn't really have your best interests at heart, but is trying to one-up you, push your buttons, or overstep boundaries.
A woman I find incredibly wise taught me to protect my energy and keep my power in these situations by asking questions.
It puts the focus back on the other person instead of on you. Which is where it should be.
When the focus is on the other person, it is their energy being used to move the conversation forward, rather than yours. This is ultimately more fair; no one has the right to demand you to defend yourself.
“What makes you say that?”
“Do you think I've made this decision carelessly?”
“What qualifications do you feel are necessary?”
“Why do you think so?”
“Why is this important to you?”
Rather than using your energy to defend yourself, you'll be able to hang on to your power and take in information. Maybe the other person has a point. Maybe they don't. You'll be in a much better position to decide when you use this approach.
This has been really helpful for me. You can even do it to yourself, when you find yourself judging another person or getting upset about what someone else did.
Have you ever felt judged or questioned in a way that didn't feel fair? How did you handle the situation?